1 Corinthians 7
7
To Be Married, to Be Single . . .
1Now, getting down to the questions you asked in your letter to me. First, Is it a good thing to have sexual relations?
2-6Certainly—but only within a certain context. It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it’s for the purposes of prayer and fasting—but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. I’m not, understand, commanding these periods of abstinence—only providing my best counsel if you should choose them.
7Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me—a simpler life in many ways! But celibacy is not for everyone any more than marriage is. God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others.
8-9I do, though, tell the unmarried and widows that singleness might well be the best thing for them, as it has been for me. But if they can’t manage their desires and emotions, they should by all means go ahead and get married. The difficulties of marriage are preferable by far to a sexually tortured life as a single.
10-11And if you are married, stay married. This is the Master’s command, not mine. If a wife should leave her husband, she must either remain single or else come back and make things right with him. And a husband has no right to get rid of his wife.
12-14For the rest of you who are in mixed marriages—Christian married to non-Christian—we have no explicit command from the Master. So this is what you must do. If you are a man with a wife who is not a believer but who still wants to live with you, hold on to her. If you are a woman with a husband who is not a believer but he wants to live with you, hold on to him. The unbelieving husband shares to an extent in the holiness of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is likewise touched by the holiness of her husband. Otherwise, your children would be left out; as it is, they also are included in the spiritual purposes of God.
15-16On the other hand, if the unbelieving spouse walks out, you’ve got to let him or her go. You don’t have to hold on desperately. God has called us to make the best of it, as peacefully as we can. You never know, wife: The way you handle this might bring your husband not only back to you but to God. You never know, husband: The way you handle this might bring your wife not only back to you but to God.
17And don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God’s place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life. Don’t think I’m being harder on you than on the others. I give this same counsel in all the churches.
18-19Were you Jewish at the time God called you? Don’t try to remove the evidence. Were you non-Jewish at the time of your call? Don’t become a Jew. Being Jewish isn’t the point. The really important thing is obeying God’s call, following his commands.
20-22Stay where you were when God called your name. Were you a slave? Slavery is no roadblock to obeying and believing. I don’t mean you’re stuck and can’t leave. If you have a chance at freedom, go ahead and take it. I’m simply trying to point out that under your new Master you’re going to experience a marvelous freedom you would never have dreamed of. On the other hand, if you were free when Christ called you, you’ll experience a delightful “enslavement to God” you would never have dreamed of.
23-24All of you, slave and free both, were once held hostage in a sinful society. Then a huge sum was paid out for your ransom. So please don’t, out of old habit, slip back into being or doing what everyone else tells you. Friends, stay where you were called to be. God is there. Hold the high ground with him at your side.
25-28The Master did not give explicit direction regarding virgins, but as one much experienced in the mercy of the Master and loyal to him all the way, you can trust my counsel. Because of the current pressures on us from all sides, I think it would probably be best to stay just as you are. Are you married? Stay married. Are you unmarried? Don’t get married. But there’s certainly no sin in getting married, whether you’re a virgin or not. All I am saying is that when you marry, you take on additional stress in an already stressful time, and I want to spare you if possible.
29-31I do want to point out, friends, that time is of the essence. There is no time to waste, so don’t complicate your lives unnecessarily. Keep it simple—in marriage, grief, joy, whatever. Even in ordinary things—your daily routines of shopping, and so on. Deal as sparingly as possible with the things the world thrusts on you. This world as you see it is fading away.
32-35I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you’re unmarried, you’re free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God. I’m trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder. All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions.
36-38If a man has a woman friend to whom he is loyal but never intended to marry, having decided to serve God as a “single,” and then changes his mind, deciding he should marry her, he should go ahead and marry. It’s no sin; it’s not even a “step down” from celibacy, as some say. On the other hand, if a man is comfortable in his decision for a single life in service to God and it’s entirely his own conviction and not imposed on him by others, he ought to stick with it. Marriage is spiritually and morally right and not inferior to singleness in any way, although as I indicated earlier, because of the times we live in, I do have pastoral reasons for encouraging singleness.
39-40A wife must stay with her husband as long as he lives. If he dies, she is free to marry anyone she chooses. She will, of course, want to marry a believer and have the blessing of the Master. By now you know that I think she’ll be better off staying single. The Master, in my opinion, thinks so, too.
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THE MESSAGE: The Bible in Contemporary Language copyright © 1993, 2002, 2018 by Eugene H. Peterson. All rights reserved. Used by permission of NavPress. Represented by Tyndale House Publishers.
1 Corinthians 7
7
The Question About Marriage
1Now let me address the things you wrote to me about. Some of you are saying, “It’s good for a man not to sleep with a woman,” as if that were more spiritual. 2But since you can’t control yourselves, this is leading to sexual sin. So each man should sleep with his own wife and each woman should sleep with her own husband. 3A husband should satisfy his wife’s needs, and a wife should satisfy her husband’s needs. 4The wife’s body doesn’t belong only to her; it also belongs to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body doesn’t belong only to him; it also belongs to his wife. 5Don’t deprive each other. You could agree not to have sexual relations for a while if you really needed time to pray. But after that, you should go back to having sexual relations. Otherwise, Satan will tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6(I’m giving you permission to do this; I’m not telling you that you should.) 7I wish all of you were single like me. But each person has their own gift from God. One has the gift of being happily married, and another has the gift of being happily single.
8I think it would be good if those of you who aren’t married or who are widowed could stay single like me. 9But if you couldn’t control yourselves, then you should get married. It’s better to get married than to burn with desire.
10But as for those who are married, I need to give you a command that comes directly from the Lord Jesus, not from me: A wife must not leave her husband. 11If she does, she must stay unmarried or else go back to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
12I know that some of the rest of you are in a complicated situation. We don’t have a direct command from the Lord about that, but let me offer some advice. If a brother has a wife who isn’t a believer, he shouldn’t divorce her if she’s willing to live with him. 13In the same way, if a woman has a husband who isn’t a believer, she shouldn’t divorce him if he’s willing to live with her. 14An unbelieving husband is made holy through his wife, and an unbelieving wife is made holy through her believing husband. If that weren’t true, your children wouldn’t be clean. But since it is true, they are holy.
15But if the unbeliever wants to leave, let them go. In that case, the believer isn’t bound to them. God wants us to live in peace. 16Wife, how do you know whether you will save your husband? Husband, how do you know whether you will save your wife?
Stay as You Were When God Chose You
17But each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them. Stay as you were when God chose you. That’s the rule I tell people to follow in all the churches. 18If a man was already circumcised when he was called, then he shouldn’t become uncircumcised. If he was uncircumcised when he was called, then he shouldn’t be circumcised. 19Being circumcised means nothing and being uncircumcised means nothing. Doing what God commands is what matters. 20Each of you should stay as you were when God chose you.
21Were you a slave when God called you? Don’t let that trouble you, although if you can gain your freedom, you should do that. 22Someone who was a slave when the Lord called them is now serving the Lord as a free person. But it’s just as true that someone who was free when God called them is now a slave of Christ. 23You were bought with a price, so don’t become slaves of human beings. 24Brothers and sisters, each person should stay as they were when God called them, knowing that God will be with them in that situation.
Advice for Those Who Are Engaged
25Now let me speak to those who are engaged. I don’t have a direct command from the Lord for you. But I’d like to give my opinion as someone who, by the Lord’s mercy, can be trusted. 26Times are difficult right now, so I think it’s good for a man to stay as he is. 27Are you engaged to a woman? Then don’t break the engagement. Are you not engaged to anyone? Then don’t look for a wife. 28But if you do marry someone, you haven’t sinned. And if a woman marries her fiancé, she hasn’t sinned. But those who do marry will have many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you from those.
29What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on, those who have a husband or wife should live as if they didn’t have one. 30Those who are mourning should live as if they weren’t, and those who are rejoicing should live as if they weren’t. Those who buy something should live as if it weren’t theirs to keep, 31and those who use the things of this world shouldn’t become all wrapped up in them. The world as it now exists is passing away.
32I don’t want you to have anything to worry about. A single man is concerned about the things of the Lord. He wants to know how he can please the Lord. 33But a married man is concerned about the things of this world. He wants to know how he can please his wife. 34So he’s pulled in two directions. An unmarried or single woman is concerned about the things of the Lord. She wants to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the things of this world. She wants to know how she can please her husband. 35I’m saying these things for your own good. I’m not trying to hold you back. I want you to be free to live in a right way and devote yourselves completely to the Lord.
36Suppose someone is worried that he’s not acting honorably toward his fiancée. Suppose his desires are too strong, and he feels that he should marry her. He should do as he wants. That wouldn’t be a sin. They should get married. 37But suppose a man has made up his mind not to marry his fiancée. He has no compelling need to get married; he’s able to control himself. If that’s what he has decided, then he’s also doing the right thing. 38So then, the man who marries his fiancée is doing the right thing, but the man who doesn’t marry his fiancée is doing an even better thing.
39A woman has to stay married to her husband for as long as he lives. If he dies, she’s free to marry anyone she wants. But the man she marries must belong to the Lord. 40In my opinion, she’s happier if she stays single. I say that as someone who has the Spirit of God too.
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