1 Corinthians 7
7
To Be Married, to Be Single . . .
1Now, getting down to the questions you asked in your letter to me. First, Is it a good thing to have sexual relations?
2-6Certainly—but only within a certain context. It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it’s for the purposes of prayer and fasting—but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. I’m not, understand, commanding these periods of abstinence—only providing my best counsel if you should choose them.
7Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me—a simpler life in many ways! But celibacy is not for everyone any more than marriage is. God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others.
8-9I do, though, tell the unmarried and widows that singleness might well be the best thing for them, as it has been for me. But if they can’t manage their desires and emotions, they should by all means go ahead and get married. The difficulties of marriage are preferable by far to a sexually tortured life as a single.
10-11And if you are married, stay married. This is the Master’s command, not mine. If a wife should leave her husband, she must either remain single or else come back and make things right with him. And a husband has no right to get rid of his wife.
12-14For the rest of you who are in mixed marriages—Christian married to non-Christian—we have no explicit command from the Master. So this is what you must do. If you are a man with a wife who is not a believer but who still wants to live with you, hold on to her. If you are a woman with a husband who is not a believer but he wants to live with you, hold on to him. The unbelieving husband shares to an extent in the holiness of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is likewise touched by the holiness of her husband. Otherwise, your children would be left out; as it is, they also are included in the spiritual purposes of God.
15-16On the other hand, if the unbelieving spouse walks out, you’ve got to let him or her go. You don’t have to hold on desperately. God has called us to make the best of it, as peacefully as we can. You never know, wife: The way you handle this might bring your husband not only back to you but to God. You never know, husband: The way you handle this might bring your wife not only back to you but to God.
17And don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God’s place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life. Don’t think I’m being harder on you than on the others. I give this same counsel in all the churches.
18-19Were you Jewish at the time God called you? Don’t try to remove the evidence. Were you non-Jewish at the time of your call? Don’t become a Jew. Being Jewish isn’t the point. The really important thing is obeying God’s call, following his commands.
20-22Stay where you were when God called your name. Were you a slave? Slavery is no roadblock to obeying and believing. I don’t mean you’re stuck and can’t leave. If you have a chance at freedom, go ahead and take it. I’m simply trying to point out that under your new Master you’re going to experience a marvelous freedom you would never have dreamed of. On the other hand, if you were free when Christ called you, you’ll experience a delightful “enslavement to God” you would never have dreamed of.
23-24All of you, slave and free both, were once held hostage in a sinful society. Then a huge sum was paid out for your ransom. So please don’t, out of old habit, slip back into being or doing what everyone else tells you. Friends, stay where you were called to be. God is there. Hold the high ground with him at your side.
25-28The Master did not give explicit direction regarding virgins, but as one much experienced in the mercy of the Master and loyal to him all the way, you can trust my counsel. Because of the current pressures on us from all sides, I think it would probably be best to stay just as you are. Are you married? Stay married. Are you unmarried? Don’t get married. But there’s certainly no sin in getting married, whether you’re a virgin or not. All I am saying is that when you marry, you take on additional stress in an already stressful time, and I want to spare you if possible.
29-31I do want to point out, friends, that time is of the essence. There is no time to waste, so don’t complicate your lives unnecessarily. Keep it simple—in marriage, grief, joy, whatever. Even in ordinary things—your daily routines of shopping, and so on. Deal as sparingly as possible with the things the world thrusts on you. This world as you see it is fading away.
32-35I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you’re unmarried, you’re free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God. I’m trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder. All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions.
36-38If a man has a woman friend to whom he is loyal but never intended to marry, having decided to serve God as a “single,” and then changes his mind, deciding he should marry her, he should go ahead and marry. It’s no sin; it’s not even a “step down” from celibacy, as some say. On the other hand, if a man is comfortable in his decision for a single life in service to God and it’s entirely his own conviction and not imposed on him by others, he ought to stick with it. Marriage is spiritually and morally right and not inferior to singleness in any way, although as I indicated earlier, because of the times we live in, I do have pastoral reasons for encouraging singleness.
39-40A wife must stay with her husband as long as he lives. If he dies, she is free to marry anyone she chooses. She will, of course, want to marry a believer and have the blessing of the Master. By now you know that I think she’ll be better off staying single. The Master, in my opinion, thinks so, too.
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THE MESSAGE: The Bible in Contemporary Language copyright © 1993, 2002, 2018 by Eugene H. Peterson. All rights reserved. Used by permission of NavPress. Represented by Tyndale House Publishers.
1 Corinthians 7
7
Advice about Marriage
1Now, concerning the things that you wrote about: It’s good for men not to get married. 2But in order to avoid sexual sins, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.
3Husbands and wives should satisfy each other’s ⌞sexual⌟ needs. 4A wife doesn’t have authority over her own body, but her husband does. In the same way, a husband doesn’t have authority over his own body, but his wife does.
5Don’t withhold yourselves from each other unless you agree to do so for a set time to devote yourselves to prayer. Then you should get back together so that Satan doesn’t use your lack of self-control to tempt you. 6What I have just said is not meant as a command but as a suggestion. 7I would like everyone to be like me. However, each person has a special gift from God, and these gifts vary from person to person.
8I say to those who are not married, especially to widows: It is good for you to stay single like me. 9However, if you cannot control your desires, you should get married. It is better for you to marry than to burn ⌞with sexual desire⌟.
10I pass this command along (not really I, but the Lord): A wife shouldn’t leave her husband. 11If she does, she should stay single or make up with her husband. Likewise, a husband should not divorce his wife.
12I (not the Lord) say to the rest of you: If any Christian man is married to a woman who is an unbeliever, and she is willing to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13If any Christian woman is married to a man who is an unbeliever, and he is willing to live with her, she should not divorce her husband. 14Actually, the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and an unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise, their children would be unacceptable ⌞to God⌟, but now they are acceptable to him. 15But if the unbelieving partners leave, let them go. Under these circumstances a Christian man or Christian woman is not bound ⌞by a marriage vow⌟. God has called you to live in peace. 16How do you as a wife know whether you will save your husband? How do you as a husband know whether you will save your wife?
17Everyone should live the life that the Lord gave him when God called him. This is the guideline I use in every church.
18Any man who was already circumcised when he was called to be a Christian shouldn’t undo his circumcision. Any man who was uncircumcised when he was called to be a Christian shouldn’t get circumcised. 19Circumcision is nothing, and the lack of it is nothing. But keeping what God commands is everything. 20All people should stay as they were when they were called. 21Were you a slave when you were called? That shouldn’t bother you. However, if you have a chance to become free, take it. 22If the Lord called you when you were a slave, you are the Lord’s free person. In the same way, if you were free when you were called, you are Christ’s slave. 23You were bought for a price. Don’t become anyone’s slaves. 24Brothers and sisters, you should remain in whatever circumstances you were in when God called you. God is with you in those circumstances.
25Concerning virgins: Even though I don’t have any command from the Lord, I’ll give you my opinion. I’m a person to whom the Lord has shown mercy, so I can be trusted. 26Because of the present crisis I believe it is good for people to remain as they are. 27Do you have a wife? Don’t seek a divorce. Are you divorced from your wife? Don’t look for another one. 28But if you do get married, you have not sinned. If a virgin gets married, she has not sinned. However, these people will have trouble, and I would like to spare them from that.
29This is what I mean, brothers and sisters: The time has been shortened. While it lasts, those who are married should live as though they were not. 30Those who have eyes filled with tears should live as though they have no sorrow. Those who are happy should live as though there was nothing to be happy about. Those who buy something should live as though they didn’t own it. 31Those who use the things in this world should do so but not depend on them. It is clear that this world in its present form is passing away.
32So I don’t want you to have any concerns. An unmarried man is concerned about the things of the Lord, ⌞that is,⌟ about how he can please the Lord. 33But the married man is concerned about earthly things, ⌞that is,⌟ about how he can please his wife. 34His attention is divided.
An unmarried woman or a virgin is concerned about the Lord’s things so that she may be holy in body and in spirit. But the married woman is concerned about earthly things, ⌞that is,⌟ about how she can please her husband. 35I’m saying this for your benefit, not to restrict you. I’m showing you how to live a noble life of devotion to the Lord without being distracted by other things.
36No father would want to do the wrong thing when his virgin daughter is old enough to get married. If she wants to get married, he isn’t sinning by letting her get married. 37However, a father may have come to a decision about his daughter. If his decision is to keep her ⌞at home⌟ because she doesn’t want to get married, that’s fine. 38So it’s fine for a father to give his daughter in marriage, but the father who doesn’t give his daughter in marriage does even better.
39A married woman must remain with her husband as long as he lives. If her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but only if the man is a Christian.#7:39 Or “only as the Lord guides her.” 40However, she will be more blessed if she stays as she is. That is my opinion, and I think that I, too, have God’s Spirit.
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