1 Corinthians 7
7
1 Now concerning the things about which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2 But, because of fornication, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.
3 A husband should fulfill his obligation to his wife, and a wife should also act similarly toward her husband.
4 It is not the wife, but the husband, who has power over her body. But, similarly also, it is not the husband, but the wife, who has power over his body.
5 So, do not fail in your obligations to one another, except perhaps by consent, for a limited time, so that you may empty yourselves for prayer. And then, return together again, lest Satan tempt you by means of your abstinence.
6 But I am saying this, neither as an indulgence, nor as a commandment.
7 For I would prefer it if you were all like myself. But each person has his proper gift from God: one in this way, yet another in that way.
8 But I say to the unmarried and to widows: It is good for them, if they would remain as they are, just as I also am.
9 But if they cannot restrain themselves, they should marry. For it is better to marry, than to be burned.
10 But to those who have been joined in matrimony, it is not I who commands you, but the Lord: a wife is not to separate from her husband.
11 But if she has separated from him, she must remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband should not divorce his wife.
12 Concerning the rest, I am speaking, not the Lord. If any brother has an unbelieving wife, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her.
13 And if any woman has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce her husband.
14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through the believing wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through the believing husband. Otherwise, your children would be unclean, whereas instead they are holy.
15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart. For a brother or sister cannot be made subject to servitude in this way. For God has called us to peace.
16 And how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
17 However, let each one walk just as the Lord has distributed to him, each one just as God has called him. And thus do I teach in all the churches.
18 Has any circumcised man been called? Let him not cover his circumcision. Has any uncircumcised man been called? Let him not be circumcised.
19 Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing; there is only the observance of the commandments of God.
20 Let each and every one remain in the same calling to which he was called.
21 Are you a servant who has been called? Do not be concerned about it. But if you ever have the ability to be free, make use of it.
22 For any servant who has been called in the Lord is free in the Lord. Similarly, any free person who has been called is a servant in Christ.
23 You have been bought with a price. Do not be willing to become the servants of men.
24 Brothers, let each one, in whatever state he was called, remain in that state with God.
25 Now, concerning virgins, I have no commandment from the Lord. But I give counsel, as one who has obtained the mercy of the Lord, so as to be faithful.
26 Therefore, I consider this to be good, because of the present necessity: that it is good for a man to be such as I am.
27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be freed. Are you free of a wife? Do not seek a wife.
28 But if you take a wife, you have not sinned. And if a virgin has married, she has not sinned. Even so, such as these will have the tribulation of the flesh. But I would spare you from this.
29 And so, this is what I say, brothers: The time is short. What remains of it is such that: those who have wives should be as if they had none;
30 and those who weep, as though they were not weeping; and those who rejoice, as if they were not rejoicing; and those who buy, as if they possessed nothing;
31 and those who use the things of this world, as if they were not using them. For the figure of this world is passing away.
32 But I would prefer you to be without worry. Whoever is without a wife is worried about the things of the Lord, as to how he may please God.
33 But whoever is with a wife is worried about the things of the world, as to how he may please his wife. And so, he is divided.
34 And the unmarried woman and the virgin think about the things that are of the Lord, so that she may be holy in body and in spirit. But she who is married thinks about the things that are of the world, as to how she may please her husband.
35 Furthermore, I am saying this for your own benefit, not in order to cast a snare over you, but toward whatever is honest and whatever may provide you with the ability to be without hindrance, so as to worship the Lord.
36 But if any man considers himself to seem dishonorable, concerning a virgin who is of adult age, and so it ought to be, he may do as he wills. If he marries her, he does not sin.
37 But if he has decided firmly in his heart, and he does not have any obligation, but only the power of his free will, and if he has judged this in his heart, to let her remain a virgin, he does well.
38 And so, he who joins with his virgin in matrimony does well, and he who does not join with her does better.
39 A woman is bound under the law for as long as her husband lives. But if her husband has died, she is free. She may marry whomever she wishes, but only in the Lord.
40 But she will be more blessed, if she remains in this state, in accord with my counsel. And I think that I, too, have the Spirit of God.
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1 Corinthians 7
7
To Be Married, to Be Single . . .
1Now, getting down to the questions you asked in your letter to me. First, Is it a good thing to have sexual relations?
2-6Certainly—but only within a certain context. It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it’s for the purposes of prayer and fasting—but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. I’m not, understand, commanding these periods of abstinence—only providing my best counsel if you should choose them.
7Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me—a simpler life in many ways! But celibacy is not for everyone any more than marriage is. God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others.
8-9I do, though, tell the unmarried and widows that singleness might well be the best thing for them, as it has been for me. But if they can’t manage their desires and emotions, they should by all means go ahead and get married. The difficulties of marriage are preferable by far to a sexually tortured life as a single.
10-11And if you are married, stay married. This is the Master’s command, not mine. If a wife should leave her husband, she must either remain single or else come back and make things right with him. And a husband has no right to get rid of his wife.
12-14For the rest of you who are in mixed marriages—Christian married to non-Christian—we have no explicit command from the Master. So this is what you must do. If you are a man with a wife who is not a believer but who still wants to live with you, hold on to her. If you are a woman with a husband who is not a believer but he wants to live with you, hold on to him. The unbelieving husband shares to an extent in the holiness of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is likewise touched by the holiness of her husband. Otherwise, your children would be left out; as it is, they also are included in the spiritual purposes of God.
15-16On the other hand, if the unbelieving spouse walks out, you’ve got to let him or her go. You don’t have to hold on desperately. God has called us to make the best of it, as peacefully as we can. You never know, wife: The way you handle this might bring your husband not only back to you but to God. You never know, husband: The way you handle this might bring your wife not only back to you but to God.
17And don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God’s place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life. Don’t think I’m being harder on you than on the others. I give this same counsel in all the churches.
18-19Were you Jewish at the time God called you? Don’t try to remove the evidence. Were you non-Jewish at the time of your call? Don’t become a Jew. Being Jewish isn’t the point. The really important thing is obeying God’s call, following his commands.
20-22Stay where you were when God called your name. Were you a slave? Slavery is no roadblock to obeying and believing. I don’t mean you’re stuck and can’t leave. If you have a chance at freedom, go ahead and take it. I’m simply trying to point out that under your new Master you’re going to experience a marvelous freedom you would never have dreamed of. On the other hand, if you were free when Christ called you, you’ll experience a delightful “enslavement to God” you would never have dreamed of.
23-24All of you, slave and free both, were once held hostage in a sinful society. Then a huge sum was paid out for your ransom. So please don’t, out of old habit, slip back into being or doing what everyone else tells you. Friends, stay where you were called to be. God is there. Hold the high ground with him at your side.
25-28The Master did not give explicit direction regarding virgins, but as one much experienced in the mercy of the Master and loyal to him all the way, you can trust my counsel. Because of the current pressures on us from all sides, I think it would probably be best to stay just as you are. Are you married? Stay married. Are you unmarried? Don’t get married. But there’s certainly no sin in getting married, whether you’re a virgin or not. All I am saying is that when you marry, you take on additional stress in an already stressful time, and I want to spare you if possible.
29-31I do want to point out, friends, that time is of the essence. There is no time to waste, so don’t complicate your lives unnecessarily. Keep it simple—in marriage, grief, joy, whatever. Even in ordinary things—your daily routines of shopping, and so on. Deal as sparingly as possible with the things the world thrusts on you. This world as you see it is fading away.
32-35I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you’re unmarried, you’re free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God. I’m trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder. All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions.
36-38If a man has a woman friend to whom he is loyal but never intended to marry, having decided to serve God as a “single,” and then changes his mind, deciding he should marry her, he should go ahead and marry. It’s no sin; it’s not even a “step down” from celibacy, as some say. On the other hand, if a man is comfortable in his decision for a single life in service to God and it’s entirely his own conviction and not imposed on him by others, he ought to stick with it. Marriage is spiritually and morally right and not inferior to singleness in any way, although as I indicated earlier, because of the times we live in, I do have pastoral reasons for encouraging singleness.
39-40A wife must stay with her husband as long as he lives. If he dies, she is free to marry anyone she chooses. She will, of course, want to marry a believer and have the blessing of the Master. By now you know that I think she’ll be better off staying single. The Master, in my opinion, thinks so, too.
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THE MESSAGE: The Bible in Contemporary Language copyright © 1993, 2002, 2018 by Eugene H. Peterson. All rights reserved. Used by permission of NavPress. Represented by Tyndale House Publishers.